Clove Hardwood

I held off on this review for quite some time for a variety of reasons. Initially it was because I was dreading writing my first bad review of a product as I was really disappointed at first. Then, after some more experience I started to change my opinion, and eventually the focus of my review shifted and I had to think about how I wanted to handle it.

The product in question is the Robo Suck, which I suppose is meant to be a blow-job simulator. It’s a large, clear tube with a motorized contraption on one side attached to a beaded loop that goes around a rubbery tube that fills the center of the device. Attached to the motor is a corded controller that holds 4 C batteries (haven’t needed to buy those in years) and has a dial for controlling the speed of the motor. Pretty simple overall.

The concept, obviously, is to stick your dick (lubed, as the friction of the sleeve makes it hard to get it in otherwise) into the sleeve, position the beaded loop (which is spring-loaded to expand or contract around various sizes) around the part of your dick you want stimulated, and then turn it on and let it go. There really isn’t anything more to it than that.

My first experience with the toy, quite honestly, left me pretty unimpressed. I first decided to try it while watching a porn movie, and it just didn’t do the trick in getting me off. The main design flaws, which hold true despite my later improved opinions of the toy, are two-fold: The beaded loop isn’t tight enough, and the motor doesn’t move in enough range. The former problem means there’s no real GRAB around your cock, just more of the loose sensation of movement around it (and to clarify, while I’m not LARGE, I’m also definitely not SMALL, so the toy doesn’t seem to properly account for average girth). A proper blow job or hand job tends to have more pressure and grab to the skin, and that just wasn’t happening with this. It’s more of a light massage. But even so, a light massage along really sensitive areas can work. Problem is, the limitations of the motor’s movement prevent it from hitting enough of those. It really moves only about an inch in total, I think, providing a pretty small stimulated area. Again, a proper hand or blow job can work the entire shaft AND with more pressure. When I realized all of this, I was pretty let down.

Anyway, I switched to an erotic story after the porn failed to get me off, and I had more success. I played with placement of the motor, finding a decent area below the head of my cock, right around where I would grip with my hand, and I let it go there at a medium pace while reading and enjoying the story. It actually timed out really well with the story, as my climax built with that of the characters, and I ended up cumming right on time. Unfortunately it was a weak, disappointing orgasm, and one of the reasons I initially completely wrote off the device.

The next downside was the cleanup. Considering I was sitting, and the device is therefore sticking straight up in my lap, and since it’s not a tight grip around my cock like a Fleshlight or similar sleeves, my cum pretty much all dripped right down the shaft of my cock and pooled at the bottom. While I’m not averse to my own cum, it’s still a much messier cleanup, and not that appealing once I’ve gotten off. Otherwise the sleeve’s not bad to clean up, especially as it can be turned inside out rather easily, allowing you to clean it with warm water and let it dry quickly. So cleanup for it is much easier than most other toys, but cleanup of me not so much.

I decided to give it another fair shot the following night, and this time focused the movement on the head of my cock, which mostly covered it. Again, relatively loose sensation, but pretty nice, and I got off again, but it wasn’t spectacular.

I hung the toy up for a while before trying again, and began to focus differently on how I was appreciating it. I tried different positions with it, tried different types of stories and porn, and focused on it more as well as not rushing my orgasm like I might with other toys. And that’s when I started to really enjoy it. With some effort and the appropriate outside mental stimulation, the effect becomes much more impressive. The thing that works for it, and the only way in which it comes close to actually simulating a blow job, is the hands-free nature. Once it starts and you find the right spot and speed, you don’t touch it. You can focus on whatever else you’re doing, and it’s like having someone else doing the work to get you off, and that’s pretty nice. And the more I focused on this, and the more I got used to it, the better the orgasms got, and the more I enjoyed what the device could do for me. I also found some ways to stand up as I reached orgasm, making the cleanup less of an issue.

In the interest of fair testing, I also did something I like to do with my other toys while reviewing them, and I tried it out one night WITHOUT additional external mental stimuli, so no porn, no stories. I just lay back in bed, turned off the lights, found the spot for it, and let it do its thing. And surprisingly, it worked. It was a slow, steady build, which was actually really enjoyable, the time leading up to the orgasm bordered on pleasantly teasing, and the final orgasm was really powerful. This position gave me the cleanup problems again, but the pleasure of the concept was really nice and something I hadn’t felt in some time. I gained a new respect for the toy and what I could get out of it that night.

Overall, I still have mixed feelings about recommending the device. I genuinely think a tighter loop and a wider-moving motor would make MASSIVE improvements in this device’s abilities to provide pleasure and turn it into a definite must-buy. I also think if they replaced the inner sleeve with something that grips the cock, like some of the masturbation sleeves, it could go a little further into simulating the effect, provide more pleasure (a milking/suction effect over the entire cock), and make for easier cleanup. Having said all of that, the specific model I have no longer appears to be available, with the Robo Suck Pump BX and Robo Suck 2 being in-stock. I can only guess and hope that one or both of these improves in these areas, and even the assumption that they do is enough to make me tentatively recommend one of them. You just have to keep in mind the learning curve on the toy and not assume it’ll rock your world on use one. You know, kind of like most REAL sexual encounters.

I’ll forgo my comparison rating system that I’ve used in the past here. Doesn’t seem necessary, as I feel I summed everything up pretty decently already. Pricing’s arguably pretty good for this sort of toy, and I think it’s worth it once you do figure out how it fits into your routine. I’d say it’s really good only as a solo toy, as there’s really nothing I can think of that you’d be doing with someone else that would keep them from pleasuring you better while you’re otherwise occupied pleasuring them. So buy it if you’re on your own or have a partner who’s frequently unavailable.

That’s it for this one. I hope to get you some more reviews soon, including the Fleshlight Vibro, some DVDs, my first-ever penis pump (I was bored, and when I’m bored I try crazy things), and a great VOD site. As usual you can find all the items I review and other Sex Toys like Vibrators and Dildos at SexToy.com. If you like my reviews and the selection of photos and stories and thoughts I post on my blog and are looking to buy some toys, please do me a favor and follow one of the product links above so I get a small percentage of anything you buy. I do this for the love of it and the hobby, but I need money for batteries. ;)

Until next time…